Hallelujah Highway

Celebrating the Journey

A Tribute to a Halloween Gobblin’~ Kristi

on October 30, 2013

It’s that time. HALLOWEEN! The time of black cats and bats. Ghosts and goblins. Kids in costumes. Trick or Treating. Truck and Treats. Pumpkin preparations. Truly, it is a ghostly good time.

There is one very, very frightening apparition that comes out to play every year. I try to shield myself from its ghoulish ways. I tell myself that this wicked presence cannot and will not possess me. I must resist. Somehow. Someway. But, my powers are no match. This goblin gets me gobblin’ every time.

The Halloween candy becomes this witch’s cauldron of choice! It bewitches me with all of its evil powers. It summons me with an invocation of the perfect sugar rush that awakens me from my normal exhausted, zombie-like state.

I promise myself I will not to be a candy vampire! I will not break into the candy stashed away for the sweet, innocent children in their guises, nor will I break into my daughter’s trick-or-treating loot. It’s like taking candy from a baby.

But, the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups cast their malevolent spells and charm me with milk chocolate and peanut butter.

The Kit Kats cackle their “Give me a break. Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar!” I am utterly defenseless to these Sirens.

The Twix bars prank me into consuming frightful levels of caramel and chocolate.

The Skittles’ mesmerize me into submission and leave me wanting to taste the rainbow over and over and over again.

The Almond Joys drive me nuts. Mounds don’t. Just kidding. Little pieces of chocolate heaven, GET IN MY BELLY!


Let’s not talk about the numerous bags of candy corns I have bought in hopes of creating that really cute Pinterest-inspired centerpiece for my kitchen table. I start out with the best of intentions—I decide I won’t open the bag until it’s time to make the centerpiece. Then, the delicious little blend of yellow, orange, and white howl at me like a werewolf in the moonlight. I decide eating only one will not hurt… and eating one more won’t hurt… Then, I end up eating the entire bag, which leaves me lying on the couch like a victim in a horror film.

This annual hair-raising Halloween ritual leaves my pant seams shrieking in pain and agony as my “healthy lifestyle” becomes a phantom of the past. I know it will require many, many tricks on the elliptical to usher the newly acquired calories to a “Dead Man’s Party.” I know. I know. The Halloween candy’s devilish ways should rest in peace, but this “Monster’s Mash” is no match for the “Thriller” of Halloween’s confection glory. Until next year vile Halloween candy…

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