Hallelujah Highway

Celebrating the Journey

Today is My Birthday! ~ Kristi

on November 29, 2012

Today is my thirty-third birthday.  My birthday is not about cake and presents; my birthday is about reflection on my previous year and setting an intention for the next year.  What am I going to nourish in the upcoming year?

Last year, my intention was “to live a healthy balanced life that is peaceful for my family and me.”  The post-it note is still on my vision board. 

The first aspect of my intention revolved around my health.  I have always battled my weight.  There were a few years in high school and college where I won the battle and was fit and thin.  But I have been losing the battle for many years.  I emotionally ate away the sadness, stress, and loneliness of being a single mom.  I didn’t take time for myself or to exercise.  (You know, the basic momma routine: making time for everything and everyone else, but not for yourself.)   

For my birthday last year, I rented out a spin studio and had a private spin class with my best friends.  There was a defining moment in that spin class.  My bike was in the front and my best friends had bikes around me.  As we sweated, grunted, and groaned through the freaking hard class, there was a moment where I saw all the women I would ask to be in my bridal party. They were all fit and I would be the “fat” bride.  Ugh!  I didn’t want that.  On top of that, some kids had called me fat and my daughter heard.  It hurt her feelings and she cried.  Ugh!  I didn’t want that either.  I wanted to be the mom who can keep up with her. 

I decided it was time to make some changes.  I started out doing Jenny Craig because I had lost weight the first time (after my first knee surgery) on Jenny Craig.   I started going for walks at the park when my daughter was in Tae Kwon Do practices.  Some practices I would walk; other times I wouldn’t.  I lost twenty to twenty-five pounds. Then life got busy—really busy.  I became exhausted and turned back to my old choices of caffeine, carbs and sugar to help me through the busy times.  I gained fifteen pounds back.  Boo! 

Plus, my relationship was unraveling, partially due to this issue.  He’d had gastric bypass surgery, but was no longer following his diet.  He wanted to go out to happy hours more and more, but alcohol and fried foods do not equal weight loss.  We had a fight over vegetables.  He hated vegetables and my eating consisted of mostly veggies.  The fight was less about the vegetables then it was about the lifestyle I wanted for the rest of my life.  I worried about the example he would set if everyone at the dinner table ate their veggies, except him.  Ultimately, I wanted health for my family and myself.

June was a pivotal month.  I let my relationship go for the reasons above (and some others) and I joined Crossfit.  I started out with private classes because Crossfit is intimidating.  My Crossfit coach, Megan, was 300lbs when she started Crossfit.  Now, she is an amazing Crossfit coach.  If she could do it, I could do it.  I struggled through those private sessions.  I mean I was a sweaty, huffing-puffing, barely-able-to-make-it mess, but I kept going.    I have stuck with Crossfit and I love it.  I just finished a beast of workout before Thanksgiving.  I am so proud of how far I have come in the five months that I have been doing Crossfit.  I have lost a substantial amount of weight in this last year.  I am proud of the weight loss, but I am more proud of the changes I made and the example I am setting for my daughter.  I am uncovering the joy and the strength that I had buried under too many calories.  This momma is “getting her sexy back.”

In addition to choosing a healthy lifestyle, I wanted to bring greater balance into my life.  I entered my thirty-second year working three jobs.  I partially did it because the recession required this momma to “be on her grind.”  But, working so much fed my addiction of doing too much.  I needed to learn how to say “no”.  I wanted peace and working so much didn’t make life more peaceful.  It left me frazzled, tired, and cranky.

I let go of one of my three jobs.  I quit teaching yoga and I love to teach yoga.  Teaching yoga is a significant portion of my life’s purpose.  I love creating a loving, safe environment for yogis to explore their mind, body, and soul connection through meditative movement.  It was a place where I could go to grow quiet and be led by God.  But yoga took me away from my daughter on Saturday mornings.  When my daughter was little, teaching yoga on Saturday mornings gave my mom and her time to develop their amazing bond.  Now my daughter is six and Saturday mornings are filled with sports and Tae Kwon Do.  In my heart of hearts, I didn’t feel right leaving my daughter with my mom and missing her games.  It was time to step down from teaching yoga and step into being a mommy.  I only have these years once and I want to be there to experience them with her.  I went into the ugly cry several times as I said good-bye to the amazing women who I love in that class.  What I know for sure is: when the intention has been set, some things have to be surrendered in order to usher in the new energy.  I had to surrender teaching yoga in order to manifest my intention “to live a healthy balanced life that is peaceful for my family and me.”  (Side note:  I do want to surrender my second job at some point, but I still need that second job for now.  But, I have a plan…)

This thirty second year has been amazing.  It was amazingly painful as I released a relationship that I thought was bound for marriage.  It was amazingly beautiful as my intention fully manifested.  I am so grateful for all of the experiences as they have shaped me into who I am.  Now, it is time to develop my thirty third year intention.  As I stated in my first blog post on Hallelujah Highway, my intention is to open up my arms, lift my life to the Lord, and say, “Thy Will Be Done!”  I want to live in surrender to His will.

Today, I celebrate my journey and open up to my thirty-third year with great excitement.          


2 responses to “Today is My Birthday! ~ Kristi

  1. Hydee Hall says:

    Very well said! I applaud your vulnerability in sharing and sending you MAJOR vibes of support!!!!


  2. Tracee says:

    YAHOO! You rock the page and your centered life. Keep up the good work and ♪Happy Birthday to YOU!♫


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